在遇到陌生人时或在冷场的情况下,你是否会想到要说些什么来发起大家的交谈?如果有这样的想法,那你又是否知道哪些谈话开场白(conversation starter)是人们所喜欢的?
今天就来教大家如何发起谈话吧。虽然我们所说的这些开场白非常简单,但这可不是在愚弄大家,因为它们确实有效。有一点大家必须知道,使用这些开场白的目的是引起谈话,我们所要做的只是打破沉默,而不是逗别人开心或引起别人的好感。因为如果你想着要用第一句话就让人眼前一亮、对你刮目相看,那只会令你自己感到紧张而怯于发起谈话的。
这次要跟大家分享的是那些适用于在任何情况下对任何人发起谈话的开场白。
1. 换个方式问"How are you?": "How are you doing right now?" "How's your day been so far?" 同样是问"你过得怎样?"但是如此问的效果要好很多,因为没人想去回答甚至思考一下像"How are you?"这样一个过于陈腐的问题。
2. 人们总是乐意谈论最近发生的新鲜事: "What's happened for you today?" "How was your trip?" "How'd you sleep last night?"
3. 借助情境,简单评论一下身边事物: "What do you think of that book?" "Looks like a great drink. What is it?" "I love this place because it's got great energy."
4. 以赞美来开头: "I like your posture. It makes you stand out nicely." "Nice shirt. Where did you get it?" "I love your style!"
5. 谈谈天气: "It's so hot today." "The great sun is burning this afternoon." "It's freezing! Do you know the temperature?" 这个方式经常被提到,但是美国漫画家Kin Hubbard说,"Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while."要用天气这种通常情况下没有太多变化的东西来发起谈话并非一定容易,所以也不可过分倚重于此。
6. 降低姿态: "I don't know anyone around here so I thought I'd come talk to you." "I'm a little nervous talking with strangers, but I just had to come say hi." "I know no one here so I thought I'd introduce myself to you." 这类我们可以称之为"vulnerable introduction",也就是在开场白中显露出自己的惶恐忧虑,这样比较容易让人愿意接近。
7. 坦率表明自己想要接近的原因: "I'm out meeting new, interesting people tonight. Mind if we chat for a minute?" "You guys look like you're having fun. That's so cool that I just had to come talk to you." "I had to come talk to you because your shirt made me laugh."
8. 了解即时讯息,谈谈热门事件: "I was just listening to radio on my way here and can't believe what happened in Africa." 如果你不是那种喜欢啃报纸、听新闻的人,那就可以以询问对方有什么新鲜事的方式来发起谈话。另外,在这样的对话中可以多用些幽默来缓解一下紧张严肃的气氛。
9. 以过去的偶然交集来开头: "I believe we saw each other at James' party." "I think we ran into each other at the trade event last month." "Did we meet last year at Church?"
10. 闲聊假期: "How's your Christmas preparations going?" "How'd the New Year go for you?" "Spring Break has been crazy. What's happened to you at Spring Break so far?" 问问对方为假期做了哪些准备、假期里有什么有趣的经历等等,这样的话题每个人都有内容可以谈。
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